The detritus of a Button Monkey

12 Jan

Brave man…

Was sent this email from a friend, this guy has got balls……

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart . FOR EXAMPLE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I
were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she
eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me. " I
said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every
boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with
my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical
needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you
just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit." We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a
pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She
must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to
think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when
she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop
when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual
satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to
the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No
honey, I don't feel like it."Her face just went completely blank as her
jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"I then said, "Honey! I just want you
to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my
financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as
a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me,
I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least
that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

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